With your own eyes you saw those great trials, those miraculous signs and great wonders (Deuteronomy 29:3)

The moment you've been waiting for, the next edition of pictoral heathen. Tell the kiddies to leave the room.

This was my first view of the West Bank. No, those aren't Palestinians. Those are my colleagues Chet and Eman. He's a theater director from Jersey, and she's a middle school math teacher from Egypt; it's a peace-making marriage, for sure. Yea, those white villas in the background that look straight out of Italy, that's the violent hotspot.

Only my second day, and I had found authentic pita. You actually can buy your own pita grills here; they're as prevalent as hibachi. But hummus is not the topping of choice. That would be oil and zahatar, a green spice mixed with sesame seeds that they give to you in a paper cone, sort of a savory Pixie Stick.

This is my covert shot of American teenage tourists weeping at THE wall. At least I had the decency not to take pictures of the truly devout. For the record, it's no longer called the weeping wall, because Israel finally got its state, so now it's just the Western Wall, so said my tour guide (who was Chelsea Clinton's once, so he must be right). As you can see, that doesn't stop people from crying.

These two monks were praying, or whatever they do, outside the supposed tomb of Jesus Christ. Me, I'm busy taking pictures. I did wait in the line to see the tomb. Others obviously felt moved, falling to their knees to kiss the ground. Me, my only movements were of the internal kind, a growling stomach. Although tasty, zahatar is not filling.

And onto the real religions of Israel: Elvis and gasoline. This station is outside of Abu Ghosh, which bills itself as having the best hummus in Israel; I respectfully disagree. But it does have the best kitsch in the country, including Jailhouse Rock Merlot.

Orthodox Jews just want to have fun, too. Just look at them whooping it up on this sculpture at Caesurea, the best Israelite/Roman/Ottoman ruins in the world. Sometime in the spring, they hold actual horse races in this hippodrome. But for the time being, these guys would have to do.

Last but not least, here's my first dinner at sunset on the Mediterranean. Yup, I said first, meaning there have been more, many on the school's dime. This night, WBAIS bought me goat cheese ravioli in a salmon sauce and two Tuborgs. I was sitting in the foreground, at the PE table; that's Rachelle and Danny, both of whom made aaliyah from England, and Jim, a Stateser by way of Singapore. In the background are Chet and Eman again, sitting across from my superintendent Marsha and Beth, an intern and recent graduate from Boston University who has been my willing bait for adventures with strangers. Together, they make up "The Replacements."

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17:22)

I had my first visit to the hospital today. No worries, it wasn't because of a bus bombing or car accident. At the end of last week, I started breaking out on my face, chest and arm, but I thought it was because of joining a new gym. I got a small rash after joining the Y's in Virginia and Florida; apparently sweat has regional bacterial properties. So yea, I was smearing athlete's foot stuff on my face (I won't even tell the story of my exchange with a pharmicist over such an idea, which was obviously absurd to her; of course, keeping athlete's foot medicine behind the counter is absurd to me, too) over the weekend. The rash wasn't getting better, and by this morning, I woke up with one eye nearly swollen shut. It looked like I had been licked, literally, by Israel.

Of all the shows Israel has imported ("The Biggest Loser" and "Are You Smarter than a Fifth-Grader" in Hebrew!), medical dramas are not among them. This is because doctors here are treated like crap. In the mornings, they work in hospitals, which pay minimum amounts as proscribed by the state, so in the afternoons and evenings, they work in shared offices, trying to making as much buck as possible with drive-by diagnoses. This might sound bad, but it works to the advantage of the consumer, mainly me. I called at 8 in the morning to set up an appointment; the nurse called back at 8:30 to say I had a slot at 3. I left work early, arriving at the office with 20 minutes to spare in case I had to fill out paperwork. After only writing my address on the top of two forms, the doctor had arrived, 15 minutes early. He immediately saw me, and I was out the door with my prescription before the original appointment time.

You must be thinking that this increased effeciency can only mean lessened quality. You would be wrong. We discussed my health history for five minutes, since this was the first time I had met the doctor. But he quickly said that we wouldn't go into details about my possible genetic predisposition to cancers of many kinds, because it wasn't relevant at this moment. I had a rash, not a tumor, after all. He asked me a few Colombo questions and deduced within minutes that I was probably allergic to my pillow. I thought of this myself, but the fact that he didn't feel the need to talk over my head with other -- unlikely -- possibilities was refreshing. And then, this kind soul, officially diagnosed me with a skin rash, not an allergy, to make sure my insurance would pay for it. Socialized medicine works, my friends.

And here's another tip that made me feel good, whether it's true or not. The sun spots on my face, which I always attributed lack of SPF PSA's when I was a kid, are more likely the result of a cortisone build-up. (In fact, he joked that he hoped I wasn't coming in to get rid of them, because man, I was screwed; doctors are funny, too.) Like athlete's foot cream, cortisone can only be prescribed here, because it is a steroid that often causes long-term skin yuckiness not worth the short-term anti-itchiness. So I guess I can't blame my parents for my premature aging after all, considering I'm the one who would slather gobs of the stuff on whenever I got poison ivy or mosquito bites. But skin cancer on the other hand ... Oh wait, I just moved to the desert of my own volition. Rats.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face (1 Corinthians 13:12)

One of the first catchwords I acquired upon looking into international teaching was "the CNN effect," which is basically the idea that people's perspectives of other countries are drastically skewed by what they see on cable news. After two weeks in Israel, I would have to say that this effect is a real phenomenon. Israelis are not living their lives in fear, as you would imagine from what you see on television. (At least not from bombings: More Israelis die from car accidents than terrorist acts; the driving here is atrocious.) The only violence I have heard of so far was a Palestinian being shot when he tried to take a gun from an Israeli guard in Jerusalem, an incident no different than something that could happen in New York, without the ethnic labels perhaps.

Honestly, the CNN effect became clear to me when I saw how the United States is portrayed on the channel here, which is different than the one in America. Here were the first three news stories I caught on CNN: Minnesota bridge collapses, Barry Bonds breaks the home-run record, and Utah mine collapses (the latter is still being covered on an hourly basis as "breaking news"). The implications of these stories is not positive. We look like a country so obsessed with something a superficial as a sport to pay attention to the safety of commuters and laborers.

But here's the kicker: CNN airs a global edition of "The Daily Show." I, of course, love this fact. However, it's no wonder America isn't taken seriously when a inside-joke interview between Jon Stewart and Denis Leary is given prime-time play. In fact, it's not quite made clear that the show is parody. But even if it were made clear, it still gives a bad impression of American journalism if we mock everything. Don't get me wrong, this is a great show, and amid U.S. television news, it's some of the best offered. But is this what we want the world to think of our interests, that we think every national and global issue is a joke? It's no wonder we're losing the respect of the rest of the world.

Okay, okay, that was a bit high horse for my first post from Israel. So I will share some other insights to taunt you. Israel has got it going on. MTV plays videos, and newspapers still publish Calvin & Hobbes. Both are a nice way to unwind after a typical day of work, along with "The Daily Show," of course.